Percy Jackson and the Land of Oz
by EmuFrost
Summary: One sudden day in June Percy and his one-eyed dog Tyty get swept up in a tsunami that brings them to the mystical colorful land of Camp Half Blood. Percy and his new friends are sent on a quest to return the lightning bolt (which he found in the hand of a squished guy under his house) to Olympus. There's only one way to get there... Follow the Yellow Brick Road.
1. Tsunami

"She isn't coming yet Tyty" Percy looked down at his small furry dog. Tyty had been Percy's loyal friend ever since he adopted him. Tyty was like most dogs except he had one eye in the middle of his fore head. Tyty blinked his one brown eye up at Percy. They both shared the same look of terror thinking about Mrs. Polyphemus, their grumpy next door neighbor who wanted to rip Tyty to shreds. Percy picked up Tyty and strolled out into the front porch which creaked under his foot.

As far as the eye could see was ocean. Ocean, ocean, and nothing but ocean. Percy, Tyty, his Auntie Di, and Uncle Chiron lived on a small lonely island in the middle of nowhere. Auntie Di as a nickname that Percy made for his aunt when he was very little. Dionysus was her real name, but Percy still had trouble pronouncing it. Auntie Di had a terrible addiction to wine, which left her drunk most of the time. Percy stroked Tyty's fur and gazed at the horizon. Suddenly he heard the sound of an engine coming around the island. His eyes widened as Mrs. Polyphemus came around the corner with her small motor boat.

"Percy Jackson I'm gonna get you one day and your little dog too!" Percy ran in the house and slammed the door hoping to avoid the old wrinkled lady. He sighed in relief as she turned the corner and drove out of view. Percy returned the the porch and set Tyty down. Tyty pranced through the front door flap and into the house. Percy returned to his dreaming about what life was like over the horizon. He cleared his voice, suddenly he felt a song coming on! There was no stopping it. Percy stood up and started to sing softly.

"Somewhere, over the water,  
Way under the sea,  
There's a place that I've heard of  
Once in fantasy

Somewhere, over the water,  
Fish are blue  
And the sharks that you dream of  
Really will eat you.

Someday I'll wish upon a fish,  
And wake up where the waves are far behind me,  
Where seaweed sways and mermaids swim  
Away where nobody's ever grim  
That's where you'll find me."

Percy sang his beautiful lullaby almost putting himself to sleep. Suddenly Auntie Di and Uncle Chiron burst out onto the porch.

"Percy look at the horizon!" Uncle Chiron yelled. Percy looked to where Uncle Chiron was pointing. A giant wave loomed above them minutes away from crashing over the house. Uncle Chiron and Auntie Di ran to the safe house under the porch. Percy was following them when suddenly he remembered. Tyty! He dashed back into the house scooping up his precious dog, but it was too late. Water burst in through all the windows and doors. Percy took Tyty and locked themselves in the air tight closet where they wouldn't get wet. Tyty whimpered and Percy held him tighter. Suddenly The water pooling around Percy's feet jerked with the tide and Percy fell, bumping his head on the closet wall. All he could see was blackness and he couldn't feel Tyty's fur. Percy fell to the floor unconscious.

Hours later Percy awoke. He couldn't quite remember what he was doing in the closet holding Tyty. He had had the strangest dream. A tsunami hit the island. Then Percy gasped. He was underwater. It was real. He slammed frantically trying to break free of the closet before he ran out of breath. Then he realized, he could breathe under water! He finally broke through the door. There wasn't much left of the house except small remains. Percy looked at Tyty who was surrounded by and air bubble and flipping happily. Percy swam through the house until he managed to find the door. Tyty rolled behind him as the swam out into the open water. The bottom of the ocean was sandy as Percy dove deeper. He gasped as he realized there was an arm sticking out from under the house. It was holding a lightning bolt. Percy managed to pull the bolt out of the dead hand. It was light enough the carry, so with the lightning bolt in one hand and Tyty in the other, Percy kicked off the bottom. Emerging into the light surprised him.

On the shore only a few feet away was a large meadow. There were kids his age running everywhere. A large white house loomed over them. The scene was full of so many things Percy had never seen before. He swore in one field he saw half kids half goats. There was an arch held up by two pillars with writing on it. Percy swam easily to the shore line, there the writing on the pillars was easy to read. In large upper case letters it read three words "Camp Half-Blood".


	2. Camp Half-Blood

Percy swam the rest of the way to the shore easily, clutching Tyty and the lightning bolt. He pulled himself onto the shore, he was completely dry. The kids running around the meadow had retreaded to 2 rows of cabins. Percy put the lightning bolt down and inspected the area more. There was a few patches of strawberries growing wildly. He slowly made his way up a dirt path and walked between the cabins. Suddenly a voice cried out.

"The Lighting Thief has saved us all!" Percy looked to the sound of the voice, a silver cabin door slammed shut. Then simultaneously, all cabins opened and children filed out. No, they weren't children, they were teenagers, some fully grown adults, but not one of them was more than 4 feet tall. Percy held in a laugh. One brave boy stepped up and quivered under Percy's height.

"Great sir, who has saved us from the wicked God of the Sky, what is your name?" Percy knelt down an put Tyty down too.

"Percy, Percy Jackson," he said. A wide smile spread across the little boy's face and he started tapping his feet in happiness. It was more of a jig, that turned into a steady rhythm, suddenly it stopped and all at once the tiny people burst out in song.

"Zing Zong Zeus is slain!

The God of the Sky?

Yes! Old Zeus is dead!

Zing Zong the wicked god is dead!

Wake up! Sleepy head, Hypnos cabin, get out of bed.

Wake up, the terrible Zeus is dead. He's gone down to Tarturus, dead!

Below - below - below. Yeah! Let's celebrate the defeat!

Zing Zong the victory, sing it high, sing it sweet!

Let them know... Zeus is dead!

Zing Zong Zeus is slain!

The God of the Sky?

Yes! Old Zeus is dead!

Zing Zong the wicked god is dead!"

At the grand finale of the song all the little people spun around and bowed to Percy. He opened his mouth to thank them for his grand entrance, when suddenly an earthquake shook the ground. The little people screamed in terror and cowered behind Percy. The ground split and a firing dragon appeared. In a swift motion the dragon shrunk into the size of a man dressed in black with oily hair slicked back. The little people bowed down. Percy stood his ground.

"Why do you not bow and cower in fear at the sight of me?" the man's voice boomed. Percy laughed.

"Because I'm not afraid of you! Who are you anyways? Steve Coogan?" The man laughed.

"Oh those mortals have no idea, having that stupid man portray me in that horrible horrible movie, Peter Jamison and the Olympians! I mean come on Thor Freudenthal! Work on your casting next time! Plus the movie was nothing like what actually happened in real life, but that's beside the point."

"I saw that movie, I thought it was ok-ish" said Percy.

"SILENCE! I AM HADES, I COMMAND YOU TO KNEEL TO ME!" he roared. Percy swore he even saw a breath of fire come out while he was yelling. Percy felt around for something to arm himself with in case this "Hades" were to attack. Feeling in his pocket he drew out a pen. It was better than nothing. He uncapped it and charged at Hades. As he was charging, the pen snapped into a full length sword. Hades disappeared in a black puff of smoke as soon as Percy got close. The munchkin people slowly got up. Percy was stunned. His pen? A sword? Munchkin people everywhere? He was about to cap the sword again when a giant bubble burst up from the sea. The bubble floated towards Percy and the munchkins. He held his sword read to attack. A man stepped out of the bubble that delicately touched the ground.

"I am Posiden, do not be afraid," he said. Posiden was dressed in a stylish hawiian tshirt and was dripping wet.

"God of the Sea. Percy Jackson, you have come here on no coincidence. You defeated Zeus without even trying. You have proved your strength. Now it is up to you to save my campers, or as you say, munchkins. Find Oz. He will know what to do with the bolt. Good luck for now, that is all I can say before I dry out," Posiden said. With that Posiden stepped back into his bubble which popped in a burst of water. He turned to the munchkins.

"Where is Oz?" The same brae munchkin stepped forward.

"Oz lives in Olympus, and there's only one way to get there," a suspicious smile creeped across his face. His feet began to tap again.

"Oh no," said Percy. The munchkins burst out into song and dance once more in perfect harmony.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Follow, follow, follow, follow,

Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Follow the Yellow Brick, Follow the Yellow Brick,

Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Your off to see Olympus, The Wonderful Land of Oz!

You'll find he is the wonderfullest land of all! If ever a land! there was.

If ever oh ever a land! there was! The Land of Oz is one because,

Because, because, because, because, because.

Because of the wonderful place it is.

Your off to see Olympus. The Wonderful Land of Oz"

Percy then noticed a long winding path that began at the edge of the woods. He started towards it when a small muchkin with a scar running over his eye called out.

"Wait! You'll need some good walking shoes!" He hurried over and handed Percy a shoe box. Percy opened it carefully. Inside were a pair of black high-top converse with two wings on each one.

"Thank you, uh, what's your name?"

"Luke" Percy put the shoes on, which happened to fit perfectly and began his long journey across the yellow brick road. The sound of munchkins singing began to slowly fade away as he entered the forest, until suddenly it was quiet except for the soft sound of crows cawing in the distance.


	3. Stupid

The sound of his new converse on the yellow brick road was a comforting noise compared to everything else that had happened that day. The annoying munchkin's song was stuck in his mind, he began to hum out loud.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road, Follow the Yellow Brick Road" his noise was interrupted by a sharp caw from a crow. He quickened his pace until he came to a small clearing. There was a field of strawberries and a girl standing in front of it, slowly advancing on the crows who were wanting a strawberry with a sword. He finally got close enough to get a good look at her. Her flowing blonde hair was shimmering in the ray of sunlight. It gave a cute frame to her perfect complection sprinkled with a few small freckles. Percy realized he was staring and quickly ran to help her. He screamed at the crows which flew away in a flock.

"Hey! What did you do that for?" she snapped.

"Uh, you mean, what did I just save your life for? Well, maybe because you needed some life saving? I dunno" Percy stumbled over his words. He was pretty useless when trying to speak to pretty girls. She frowned.

"I don't get it." Percy laughed.

"Don't you have a brain?" She looked offended.

"Nope!" Percy took a step back. She didn't have a brain? What kind of person was this? Her feet began to tap in a peculiar rhythm, suddenly she burst out into song. Percy's third song of the day! He was getting a little sick of it.

"I could fight some more monsters

Battlin' with the harpies

Pettin' the pretty pegasus

And his mane I'd be scratchin'

While my thoughts were busy hatchin'

If I only had a brain

I'd solve any prophecy

For any demigod

In trouble or in pain"

Percy felt bad for her and joined in,

"With the monsters you'd be fighten'

You could be another Titan

If you only had a brain"

The girl laughed.

"Oh, I would tell you why

Posiden's near the shore

I could think of things I never thunk before

And then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be useless

My battles would all be won

My heart all full of glory

I would fight and be merry

Life would be a zing-a-zerry

If I only had a brain"

Percy had began to feel really bad for the girl.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"I dunno," she said. Percy had to think.

"Well, what should it be?" he asked.

"I dunno," she said. Percy was getting annoyed.

"Do you even know what a name is?" he was almost shouting.

"I dunno," she said again. Percy had lost it, and was very angry.

"Ok, fine, let's call you Stupid!" he said. Stupid nodded in agreement.

"Stupid, I like it!" she exclaimed. Percy felt bad for leaving her at the side of the road with a name like Stupid. After a very long conversation with Percy explaining to Stupid what a road was, Stupid agreed to come along with Percy on the journey to Oz. If Oz was smart enough to control a lightning bolt, he was probably smart enough to give Stupid a brain. Which she could really really use.

The sun was starting to set as Percy and Stupid made there way along the road. Percy couldn't help, but look at her every few minutes, she really was one of the most beautiful girls Percy had ever seen. The fact that she had no brain crushed Percy. They set up camp on the side of the road. Stupid fell asleep while Percy took watch because he didn't trust her completely. She was starting to doze off.

"You know if, any of this makes sense to you, I think you're pretty," he finally said. He immediately gasped and wished he hadn't said anything. She snorted a little and rolled to the side. Percy sighed in relief. Knowing that there wasn't any danger he started to grow sleepy. It had been a long and very crazy day. Finally sleep washed over him. Within minutes he was snoring. As the pair slept on the side of the road a silent calmness washed over the land, the whole world had gone to sleep. For a short moment the silence was broken, a small voice whispered.

"Thank you," but Percy was too busy sleeping to hear it.


	4. The half-tin-man-goat

Percy and Stupid were already up and making there way down the Yellow Brick Road as the sun began to rise, casting a warm glow along the road. Stupid let out a giant, most lady-like, snorting yawn.

"So, where we goin'?" she inquired.

"Oz," Percy said, growing impatient of her severe lack of brain. He was so busy muttering to himself and grumbling that he didn't notice the shadow loom over them. When the soft glow of sunrise disappeared Percy looked up. They were in a dark forest. Gnarled tree roots stretched onto the Yellow Brick Road cracking the bricks. They groaned softly as they swayed in the breeze. Percy stopped short, but Stupid continued to ramble on.

"And another thing! About corn! You know it's yellow? Took me _years_ to figure that out. Hey, do you wanna build a snowman-"

"Shhh!" Percy spat. Stupid stopped short as the creaking trees grew louder. Suddenly they stopped followed by a loud moan. Percy peered around a large tree to find a creature struggling behind a bush.

"Hey man!" he called out. Percy took a step closer to look at the creature.

"Yo, I'm Grover, the half-tin-man-goat!" Grover, the half-tin-man-goat, looked like a normal human from far away, but on closer inspection, Percy noticed his bottom half was completely tin!

"Where's the half-goat?" Percy asked. Grover sighed and pointed to his head. Under a curly mass of hair Percy spotted two small horns.

"Cool!" Percy spun around to see Stupid, marveling at the strange new creature.

"Hi, I'm Stupid!" she burst out.

"Aw, girl, don't call yourself that, you know, that really gets your self-esteem real low, if you know what I mean!" Grover said.

"It's a name!" Stupid said, matter of factly. Grover looked confused.

"OK, that's alright with me!" he said turning to Percy "Now you, Smartie, help me out here! See that oil can over there?" Grover motioned towards a can perched on a stump. Percy nodded.

"Pour it on my poor legs here!" Percy got the can and dosed oil all over the half-tin-man-goat's legs. Grover yelled and pranced into the air with joy.

"Yeah! Now let's go! Where to Smartie?" Percy laughed.

"Well, we're headed to Oz to give him the lightning bolt, see he's supposed to give Stupid a brain, and send me back home. Maybe he could give you legs!" Percy explained.

"Legs? Nah, I don't need legs, You know what I need... a heart," Grover sighed longingly "You'd better sit down, this is a long story" They both sat on the soft moss and turned to Grover.

"It was many years ago, yes indeed. When I was a young lad, well younger at least... I knew my first love. She was beautiful, she was smart, no offense, she was unique, kind, caring, everything you could ever dream of, that was her alright. She was a Nymph, an amazing one because she, my friends, was my first and only love." Stupid rose to her feet and clapped.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Percy pulled her back to the ground.

"Hey, now I'm only getting started!" Grover said "Her name was Juniper. Juniper and I fell in love with each other at first sight. We met at camp, lived together with the other creatures. We stayed together for weeks. The more we stayed together, the more our love progressed. Until one day I was going to propose. I know, I know, I only knew her for a few weeks, but that doesn't matter when it's true love! I went to Hades, asking for the most beautiful tin ring around. He laughed at me and did cruel magic, he stole my heart, literally, and cast my legs into solid tin, which need to be oiled frequently. I went to search for Juniper in this forest, but it started to rain, hard. My tin legs froze and I've been here for a year, eating mushrooms and drinking rain water."

Percy didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say.

"Well, we are going to go get you some real legs AND a heart!" he exclaimed. Grover nodded as a single tear dripped off his face. Percy dove forward just in time to stop it from hitting Grover's tin legs and freezing him to the spot.

"Thanks, no more crying!" Grover said eagerly. They stepped out of the forest, hand in hand, and began to skip down the Yellow Brick Road. For the first time in forever, Percy started the song.

"We're off to see Olympus! The Wonderful Land of Oz!" As good as singing felt, Percy felt his sack grow heavier. The lighting bolt couldn't wait. Time was running out.


	5. Harpy

Linking arms, Percy, Stupid, and Grover skipped down the yellow brick road. The forest was thickening as the sun light seemed to fade away, covered by the trees, until all that was left was a single ray, guiding them along the path.

"Dang, darkness gives me the hebe jebes," Grover began to shudder as they trudged along the misty path.

"I mean, think about what could be lurking behind those trees..." he continued.

"Hydras," Percy said, suddenly feeling less confident.

"Harpies," Stupid said.

"Minotaurs!" Grover exclaimed "Oh my" Stupid began to chant the words over and over.

"Hydras, Harpies, and Minotaurs, Oh my! Hydras, Harpies, and Minotaurs, Oh my!" Grover and Percy joined in.

"Hydras, Harpies, and Minotaurs, Oh my! Hydras, Harpies, and Minotaurs, Oh my!" Suddenly the bushes rustled ahead of them. Tyty snarled and ran behind the plant to investigate. Percy heard a frightened cry and drew his sword. Tyty yelped and came bounding out from behind the brush. Percy held the sword, ready to attack. Suddenly a harpy emerged from the bushes. Her red wings spread out as she screeched a noise that sounded like the cry of a hawk. Percy thrust the sword forward spearing the harpy's wing.

"Ow!" she said and dropped the the ground.

"Sorry, sorry!" Percy rushed to the side of the wounded animal.

"Don't worry, it's fine," she insisted.

"No, it's not, I just cut your wing," Percy said. There was a puddle of blood around the wing.

"Percy!" Stupid yelled "You killed a bird!" Percy reached out to tend to the wound, but the harpy pulled back.

"Look!" she said. She held up her wing for Percy to see. On a tiny cut was on the very edge of the wing. "Nothing more than a paper cut."

"But the blood!" Percy insisted.

"I was eating a burger from Rainbow Organic Foods and Lifestyle when the one eyed dog surprised me. So I screeched and dropped my burger. I still had the ketchup packet in my wing when you attacked. This-" she pointed to the puddle of blood "is ketchup." Percy put the cap back on his sword and helped the harpy up.

"My name's Ella," she said shyly.

"I'm Percy" Percy said "This is Stupid, Tyty, and Grover."

"Your dog, quite frightening, well, that's not saying much. Everything scares me. When you pulled you sword out I almost had a heart attack. I'm a harpy! I shouldn't be scared of anything! Harpies are like the rulers of the forest." Ella explained.

"Sounds like you need some courage!" Grover said.

"Bravery," Stupid said. Percy was amazed. That was probably the one and only possible smart thing Stupid had ever said in her life. He was proud of her. Ella cleared her voice then burst out into song.

"If I were the ruler of the forest,

Not a hydra, not a minotaur, not a nymph.

My majestic wings of the forest,

Would be strong, not fragile, not limp.

I'd command each thing, be it greek be it roman,

With a screech and a caw and royal crow- caw!

If I'd open my beak, the mice would squeak,

And the demigods bow, and the centaurs kneel.

Just imagine how much cooler, if I, if I were ruler!"

She bowed gracefully at the end of her song.

"Ella, you are coming with us to the Land of Oz! The people there will give Stupid a brain, give Grover legs and a heart, and send me home, so why can't they give you some courage too!"

"Let's go!" Ella cawed. The new foursome linked arms (and wings) and skipped away through the forest.

The trees began to grow thinner, the sun began to shine. With a new friend they felt brave, smart, and loving, as they skipped out of the forest. The trees finally cleared and a new setting came into view. A field as far as the eye could see was filled with Iris's.

"Let's set up camp," Percy said. As soon as they were a safe distance away from the forest they began to get a small fire started. Life was good for Stupid, Percy, Grover, and Ella as they sang campfire songs at the top of their lungs. Life was very good.

•••

Meanwhile, miles below the earth's crust Hades was peering into his crystal ball. A happy image appeared. Four friends laughing and joking around a campfire. They look cheerful, delighted. It disgusted him. Hades groaned in distaste, something had to be done. Perry, Patty, whatever his name was Jackson had to be stopped. He had crushed Zeus with his clumsy house, and it was time for revenge. Hades conjured up an evil plan in his mind. He closed his eyes and recited an ancient spell. A thick fog swirled around him as his evil chanting grew louder and louder.

"Lia mia pisao zo, I pishow dog sedog! Lia mia pisao zo, I pishow dog sedog!" He thrust his hands into the air and the black fog swirled away. By morning the black fog would curse all of the Irises, luring Pansy Jackson into eternal sleep.


End file.
